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Pamela Jean A New Life Coaching
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
By PAMELA JEAN
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The title of this week’s blog makes me giggle.  I have recently returned from spending 10 days with my three year old Grandson and four month old Granddaughter.  If you happen to be a Grandparent, you know how my heart has exploded with love for these two incredible little humans and also the void that is left behind after leaving them 800 plus miles away.  They bring a spirit to life that has been forgotten from when my children were that age.  Perhaps that is because when you are in the trenches of motherhood you don’t see the determination of a three year old as fascinating, lol frustrating might be more accurate.  What I learned from my Grandson was that in his mind “NO” really doesn’t mean “NO” at all.  In fact it was mind blowing how many ways a three year old can ask for Valentine’s Day candy all within 10 minutes!  Incredible how quickly his mind was working on the next verbal snare to trap me in to give in to his request.  The word “NO” meant absolutely nothing to him.  Why?  Why didn’t he care how many times he heard the answer?  Why didn’t “NO” deter him on his relentless quest?

 

This has really gotten me thinking.  When did the word no, become something many adults deeply fear in business and in life?  When did the word no get tied to rejection?  How does this two letter, tiny word have so much power and impact on our daily lives?

 

Somewhere on our journey to adulthood, we are conditioned to fear no, and in business and life this can be debilitating and definitely keep us from advancing forward.   If you can dive into why you have the fear of rejection, you will learn how to handle “No’s” in a more positive light.   Most often, the fear of rejection (or fear in general) stems from a childhood condition and experiences.  When we were children things happened TO us to put us in a state of fear and we carry those emotions and mindset into our adult life.

 

How can we get past the fear of “NO” in our daily lives and mostly past what is holding us back from living our best life?  Let’s learn to love that feisty little word NO!

Don’t worry about a potential client turning you down and telling you no.  Think of it as “no” right now, not a forever “no”.  You don’t know their circumstances! Perhaps they just found out about an unexpected expense, or they had a fight with their spouse, or the children are being jerks, or they are having insecurities about themselves.  DO NOT make a “NO” about you!  It’s not personal!  A potential client did not tell you no because of you, the "NO" is because of them and something happening in their life at a given moment.  You should really thank the person for telling you no, it is an incredible learning opportunity!

 

Here are a few points to ask yourself these questions;

How can you pitch your product differently?

Did you explain your product properly?

Did that client truly fit my client and product profile?

Have I created enough desire for my product?

 

When it comes to your reaching your goals "no" is not an answer.  The word "no" doesn’t mean you stop progressing forward. NO means you change your course, take a left turn where you once thought you were going straight.  No is not a stop sign, think of it as a yield sign.  A place where you slow down take a look at where you have come from and make an adjustment to get where you are going.  No gives you the opportunity to take stock and change the course properly to reach your goals.  Maybe it’s time you Take NO Like a Three Year Old.

So if you find yourself in a place where you fear the word no and want to visit about how paralyzing this is for you, click the LET's CHAT link below and I will contact you to set up a time to visit.  I look forward to serving you!

Tags: NO
 
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
By PAMELA JEAN
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I know you are tired of hearing about 2019 goals, it’s the middle of February for crying out loud.  Don’t we have this down already?  Honestly most people do not.  Most people have really good intentions of creating a new list of goals for a new year, but once April hits, they can barely remember what they even wrote down.  The importance of goals and reaching them has a direct hand in how richly fulfilled your life will be.  If you want a life of mediocrity, the keep doing nothing or keep doing what you are doing.  But if you want to life an EXTRAORDINARY life, you have to be willing to EXTRAORDINARY things to get there.

 

Every goal you have written down has a bigger power a bigger reason if you will.  There is more to each and every goal than meets the eye, it is very important to dig deep into your heart and mind to define the “goal BEHIND your goal”.

 

Let’s say number one on your list is I want to be debt free in 2019.  That is a great goal and one everyone should be striving for.  But the bigger question that we are going to delve into is WHY.  WHY do you want to be debt free?   The answer seems simple and obvious I know, but let’s take an in depth look at a few answers to the WHY.

 

“By living debt free I will have a freedom to do things I could never do while owing money.”

“The stress level in my life regarding money would be eliminated.  I would not have the daily concern and worry over the next bill that is due, ultimately a better quality of life”

“I would love to give $10,000 (BE SPECIFIC) to my favorite charity and take my family on a special trip each year.”

“I will be more relaxed, experience less anxiety and overall will be a happier more content person.”

“My relationship with my family and friends will thrive.  I will be able to be 100% present when spending time with the people I love most with less stress taking over my mind.”

 

Here is another example:

I want my business to grow in 2019.  That is a great goal, and most business owners desire yearly growth, but WHY?  Why do you want your business to grow?  What is the purpose for the growth?  If the purpose for growth is simply for the money then you are missing the big picture. 

“I want my business to grow, so I can retire by the time I am 60.” 

“I want my business to grow so I can take my family on a trip to Europe.”

“I want my business to grow so I can create jobs for 100 more people.”

“I want my business to grow so I can increase my donation to my charity of choice.”

“I want my business to grow so I can leave a financial legacy to my children and grandchildren.”

 

I hope you understand the importance of nailing down the “goal BEHIND your goal”.  A deep seeded purpose and process is imperative for living an EXTRAORDINARY life.  Defining the deeper meaning of your goals will make them more clear and specific.  If you would like my GOAL PYRAMID form emailed to you, click on the BUTTON below and I will get one sent out to you.

Here is how it works; Write your goal at the very top of the document, start at the bottom of the pyramid and begin with step one of how you are going to reach this particular goal.  As you create your journey to your goal, keep adding filling in the steps.  This is a great visual, will keep you accountable and help your see a clear path to reaching your goal.

Shoot me an email if you would like to have a deeper conversation regarding defining your goals real purpose.  I would love to help you create "A New Life".  Click on the BUTTON below to send a direct email to me.  I look forward to serving you!

 
Monday, February 04, 2019
By PAMELA JEAN
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Well here we are, one month of 2019 is in the books.

How is it that one month has gone by already?

Time flies when you are having fun!  But were you really having fun?

 

I think it is safe to say, that most people are gun-ho at the thought of a new year.  It’s our chance to leave behind the issue of the past year.  Bury a few bad experiences, perhaps recovering from a big loss in our life, we are ready to wash away all of the grit of the previous year.  Then we get busy planning out all the things we are going to accomplish in the coming year.  Losing weight, eating healthier, getting out of debt are just a few things that come with planning out our new year.

 

Then February hits, and you are nowhere near beginning any of the goals you have set for yourself a mere 31 days ago, let alone a possibility of reaching a goal.  All you can think of is how busy you were last month recovering from Christmas, reorganizing your household, getting the kids back to school, then the bills start coming in from all of the money you should not have spent on Christmas.  And then financial stress hits, then the “clean eating” plan goes out the window with the bowl of ice cream that comes your way, then you start to become the grumpy wife and mother you promised yourself you would not become.  The downward spiral begins, the vicious cycle of life takes over.  You have been sucked back into your old ways, that comfortable/uncomfortable place that will keep you captive for yet another year.  Ugh.

 

Let’s have a conversation today about setting goals and how to reach them.  First of all, you have to be VERY specific about your goals and they must be MEASURABLE.  For instance, to say, "I want to lose weight this year", we both know it will never happen.  Plant this in your mind, I want to lose 20 pounds by August 31, be specific.  That is 2.5 pounds a month (if you begin in January) and is 0.625 pounds a week.  When you break it down, the 20 pounds has now become slightly over ½ of a pound a week.  This will make the goal less intimidating and more achievable.

 

We are not stopping there, the next step is to make an ACTION PLAN for the goal of losing 20 pounds by August 31.  HOW are you going to lose the weight?  No excuses!  It is easy to get in a funk and say something like this, “I don’t have enough time to work out, I am too busy”, well that is simply bull, I don’t’ buy it.  We all have 24 hours in a day, and have the opportunity to fill those 24 hours with what is important to us.  If it is important enough, you WILL find a way.  If you have time to peruse social media, you have time to exercise.  If you have time to watch Netflix for two hours in the evening, you have time to work out.  If you have time to play games on your phone or device, you have time to work out.  My point is, if your goal is big enough in your mind, you will find a way to make it happen.  If you want something badly enough, it WILL happen.  Set your mind to succeed.  Make a choice of water instead of soda, fruit instead of a candy bar, take the stairs when you can instead of the elevator, this list can go on and on.  By making simple choices you will begin to lose weight.

You MUST write your goals down and look at them every single day.  If you don’t write it down it will never happen, out of sight, out of mind.  This can be done by creating a vision board.  Find a picture of the swimsuit you want to wear this summer, stick it on the board.  Dreaming of a new car?  Find a picture add it to your board, this can apply to a home, a vacation, a new job, you get the idea.  This is the part of goal setting that begins the manifesting process, your dreams and goals are then set into motion.

 

Here is a VERY important element about goals.  Your goals have to be YOUR goals.  “My spouse wants me to lose weight.  My Mother wants me to become a nurse”.  If a goal is not YOUR goal it will never be reached.  Setting a goal for the sake of another person is dysfunctional and will not end well.  You will never be at peace and strive for a goal that is set for someone other than yourself.

 

And lastly, you should set goals for all areas in your life; financial, spiritual, career, family, social, physical, intellectual, debt and retirement are some suggestions.  By setting goals in all areas of your life, YOU will become a more whole and happy person, which will lead you down a path of finding your best self and ultimately, you will become what you have been created for.  You will find your purpose, you will be a better wife, mother, friend, employee and servant to other people.

 

Next weeks edition, will dig even deeper into manifesting your goals and making them become your reality.  I will go over a Goal Pyramid worksheet and provide a link for you to download it for free.  In the mean time, make it a GREAT week!

 

Claim Your Free Discovery Call for Coaching

 

Tags: Goals, coaching
 
Friday, February 01, 2019
By PAMELA JEAN
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Well we are almost one month into the New Year and I have just now figured out my “Word of the Year”.  A girlfriend of mine asked me what my word of the year was and it has taken me nearly a month to figure it out!  Thank you Christie Michelle for the challenge, and of course I had to make it difficult for myself, lol!  According to the Second Edition of the 20 volume Oxford English Dictionary, there are 171,476 words in the English Language.  So why was this so difficult for me?  Pick a word already!

I didn’t want to willy-nilly choose a word, I wanted my word for the year to have deep meaning, I wanted my word to be my guide to success and thought.  I wanted MY word to follow me through this entire year, it’s a big deal.

Drum roll please…

After much thought and contemplation, my word of the year is INTENTIONAL.  According to Merriam-Webster, intentional is an adjective, and the definition of intentional is done by intention or design: INTENDED.

What does this mean to me and perhaps you too?

In every aspect of my life I want to live and makes choices intentionally, with proper thought behind everything in my life.  I think often times we get caught up in our "to-do" list and go through the motions, we forget that every second of our day is a gift and opportunity and should be treated as such.  This is a challenge to use every second to be the best at whatever you do.

In my business and professional life, I want every decision to have intention and purpose.  For instance, before I book a conference or attend to further my education, I first want to make sure I know what my business needs are.  It is important to make sure that the conference will meet the current needs of my business, instead of attending the same conference year after year because it’s what I have always done.  Also I want to have a list of goals, to make sure I am staying on task at the conference, and maximizing my dollars invested and time for attending.

When I go to a Coaching Meeting, I pray and meditate before we begin and ask for ears to listen and the wisdom, guidance and the right words my clients need to hear.  My best gift I can give a client is to show up 100% every time and be intentional about what I am sharing with them.  I am my clients Coach not their cheerleader.  It is my goal to witness and encourage their business and personal growth, to help them overcome fear and realize a level of success that is beyond their wildest imagination.

On the personal side of my life, I want to invest my time in the people and causes that develop me to become the best version of myself while by example encouraging them to do the same.  For example, when I am out to dinner with my family or friends, I intentionally unplug and leave my phone tucked in my purse.  I want to show up 100% for them, they deserve my full attention and seek out ways that I can be there for those special people in my life.  Everyone needs to feel valued and loved, a simple gesture of time and undivided attention can provide that.

At the end of the day, I don't make a decision because "everyone else does it this way", I want to make decisions that are planned, thought out, strategic and specific.  With the ultimate goal of becoming the best version of myself, the version God INTENDED for me to be.

 

 
Friday, March 02, 2018
By PAMELA JEAN
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11 Mantra’s Every Newly Divorced Woman Should Be Living

 

1) Practice Self Love;

Happiness is an inside job, YOU have to love yourself, before anyone else can. You are beautiful, courageous and perfectly created. It’s okay to show yourself Grace and Love!

2) Stop Caring About The Ones Who Do Not Deserve Your Energy;

Why do the negative people in our life have the loudest voice in our minds? It’s easy to give power to the ones who have hurt you the most. It is your choice as to who and what hurts you. The sooner you take away the power, the sooner you will heal.

3) Connect With Your Single Girlfriends;

Surround yourself with your girlfriends, what better way to refresh and recharge then the support and love of your friends! Schedule at least two nights a month to connect with your girlfriends!

4) Stop Feeling Guilt & Shame;

Starting your live over after divorced is not for the faint of heart. Don’t let the feeling of failure, guilt and shame plague you, move forward, always move forward. You can’t change the past, only learn from it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself o , take a look in the mirror, and give yourself a smile. Don’t beat yourself up.

5) Dream Again;

You have lost your dreams while ful lling everyone else’s. You have spent years making everyone else happy, you have forgotten about you. Take a deep breath and let your dreams come to the surface again. 

6) Enjoy Being Single;

Being single can be scary and uncertain. When you learn to be comfortable in your own skin, in your single situation, the stronger you will become.

7) Learn To Forgive;

Forgiving the people in your life that have caused you heartache, is just as important as for- giving yourself. Forgiveness is a powerful step in healing your heart.

8) Codependent NO MORE!

When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. You didn’t cause it; you can’t control it; you can’t cure it. Let go of the things that you cannot change.

9) Journal Your Journey;

Schedule time everyday to write your inner most thoughts in a pretty journal. Document your journey and a year from now, you will be able to read how far your have come! Oh the di erence a year makes!

10) Do More Things You Love;

For years you have put everyone before you. You have been the sacri cial lamb for others, it’s time you do something for you! Do something that you have always wanted to do!

11) Find Your Inner Peace;

Learn to live in peace with yourself. You cannot control everything, but you can control how you feel about yourself and the inner peace you live with.